Talking Dirty: What Your Lover Wants to Hear During Sex

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But with time, you can become much more comfortable with it. One of the biggest reasons that dirty talking doesn’t end up working out or becomes awkward is because those involved are taking things way too seriously and trying way too hard. Now, we’re not saying you need to dive headfirst into BDSM. And honestly, these labels can feel reductive and cheesy sometimes. But the kink community has done a fantastic job of building a helpful sandbox for playing with storytelling through sex that’s super useful groundwork for dirty talk. Aside from the nitty-gritty stuff, though, there are also tons of secondary sexual characteristics for you to explore.

Ease into it with sexting.

Dirty talk is something I’ve found myself being into but I don’t indulge in it mainly due to a lot of my existing anxieties. I think dirty talk involves more trust and it takes a while for me to get there. But I will say that, while it isn’t important that every sexual encounter involves dirty talk, I do find that I am more easily turned on by it. Jennifer Litner, PhD, a certified sex therapist, describes sounds as one of the key senses that can heighten arousal, especially for women.

Don’t overthink it!

Flirty and dirty messages are the ones that often can make your and your loved day and even can play a role in foreplay. We are also posting some sexy and naughty quotes and dirty messages that can be shared with your love (Sexy and Naughty quotes and also a special edition with Sexy Christmas quotes). Still, she stresses that the benefits outweigh the risks here. To take the guesswork out of what turns your partner on, Dr. Jansen says coupled clients can create “Yes, No, Maybe” fantasy lists as an exercise. This also helps to clear up whether what you both do or say going forward has enthusiastic consent. So we asked relationship experts for their best tips on how to talk dirty, plus dirty-talk ideas for both beginners and seasoned pros alike looking to take their game to the next level.

The Best Dirty Talk Examples.

It may seem strange, but try saying dirty things when you’re totally alone as practice. On the drive to work just say, “I want to fuck you so bad” at a normal volume until it doesn’t make you cringe. We’re all a bit sexually repressed in this country, and it takes some effort to undo that.

As you can see, dirty talk fantasies are quite common—and there is a rich psychology behind them. It is also very likely that different people are drawn to dirty talk for very different reasons. Tell your partner how much you love certain things they do. This will help you get comfortable without diving too deep or too fast. Below are Lewis’ tips for becoming more comfortable with dirty talk and its benefits and prompts to get you started.

And there are plenty of dirty things to text your boyfriend or whisper in his ear. This might surprise you, but dirty sex talk works best in boosting a man’s ego in bed. If you were wondering what men want in bed, well dirty talking is one of those things.

Though, of course, always be conscientious about establishing enthusiastic consent and doing boundary check-ins throughout any roleplaying dirty talk. Always remember that it’s both party’s right to respectfully say no at any time. Whether you’re a newbie and are looking at how to spice up your sex life or you’re the expert looking for fresh lines, get ready to dive into our fat list of dirty talk examples. Thirty-five percent of the respondents said that they had drawn on dirty talk from a previous sexual encounter. So, where do people learn the language of good dirty talk? According to 61% of the respondents, it was inspired by spur-of-the-moment events such as what their partner was doing at the time.

• A comment like that will probably push them over the edge and have them pouncing on you.
• Plus, dirty talk is something that many people desire.
• Getting started with dirty talk via text can feel a lot less intimidating than talking dirty IRL, so practicing with some sexting is a great way to get comfortable with the idea.

However, talking dirty to your partner can feel pretty intimidating, especially if you’ve never attempted it. Your partner doesn’t want to hear you reading from a sexy script — they want to hear what you’re loving and why. Here’s some inspiration for dirty things to say to your partner to keep sexual energy flowing in your relationship. Let dirty talk elevate your sexual experience, not hinder it.

Imagine whispering suggestive words into your partner’s ear. Trust us; you’ll elicit the response you want (i.e., driving your lover absolutely wild!). When you and your lover do bridge the distance, you can put all dirty talk texts to work in real life. Lucky for you, we’ve compiled the best dirty talk examples to add to your repertoire. Describe your mood, your current environment, the feel of your new underwear or sex toy, a sexual fantasy, or your favorite sexual activity.

That said, in these scenarios, communication will be key. After all, using props or experimenting with power dynamics can do wonders for the atmosphere in the bedroom, but, again, it’s vital to make sure everyone is both comfortable and happy at all times. Start with phrases that are simple and that make sense. You can also see how reactive your partner is and continue down a path she’s responding well to. A fun and easy way of initiating erotic talk would be through the game. Cordingley suggests just practicing some racy words or phrases out loud when you’re alone so you can get more comfortable hearing yourself say them.